im so busy.
with work.
with friends.
with enjoyment.
with everything!
SO MUCH things happened.
in a mth.
happy.
sad.
perhaps more to sad and unhappy to me.
14oct and 15oct
had our long-ago-planned chalet.
i treasured the 2d1n we spent tgt.
it really made me miss our marina days so tat much.
i believe the rest misses those days too.
we played.
we crazed.
we talked.
we laughed.
*loves!
(:
18oct
met dear.
worked graveyard 2days b4.
so i was kinda tired.
on tat day we're alr not in very good terms.
coz i assume he was unhappy with me gg home late aft my chalet.
so i dont dare to talk too much or to provoke him.
when its time to have dinner.
all i said is 'i got no idea where'
he fed up.
sent me home right away!
isn't is ridiculous?
hais.
things started to get worse.
but still..
i try to remain positive.
19oct
i helped to rush here and there.
taking bus is not free k..
to get ur things done.
tired de leh..
u seems like dont appreciate it.
no thank you..
n u always says i took thing for granted.
den wat r u doing to me?
20oct
went out with nia aft work.
y r u unhappy abt it?
i think i still have my right to have my freedom ba.
21oct to 23oct
dear like nv bother me at all.
to me.
he is my precious.
but who am i to him?
i dont noe.
i just feel i dont get wat i suppose to have.
y other couple can?
but i cant.
felt so hopeless.
suddenly i feel like wanting back single life.
feel like giving up.
24oct
went out aft work.
initially i msg him.
but as usual.
no reply frm him.
so i wana 'test' will he look for me?
will he worry abt me?
i divert all my calls.
finally he msged me asking where am i.
i called him back.
wat i got?
scoldings.
and he hanged up the call.
wth lor.
damn ridiculous.
i havent even got the chance to talk.
hais.
25oct
totally no mood to work.
cry in the bus.
cry in the train.
i dont gave a damn to those to stared at me.
tot can pretend not feeling well.
so tat i can escape the batam trip the next day.
coz initially my thinking is..
i got no mood to enjoy liao.
but second tot..
i better to out and relax myself.
if not i stay at home i'll think more cry more.
26oct
patch outing to batam.
tot he'll be there.
at least i can share my sadness.
but expected he wont go de lahh.
so forget it.
anw i saw chongmeng there.
lols.
shocked!
aft 1 whole day at batam.
played go kart.
went massage.
went shopping.
i enjoyed.
(:
came back and reached sg.
went over to dear's workplace.
tot can see him.
can talk to him.
i reached.
msged him.
he asked me to go home.
wat is my feeling?
i got no more feeling le.
i really dont noe wat to do.
29oct
cp crew outing 2009.
the worst crew outing i ever organised.
coz the crews are not supporting.
bored.
i almost cried just b4 the outing.
and cath realised it.
argh!
im ok lah.
anw i had lotsa fun too!
=D
i did wat i normal usually did.
msg him.
wake him up.
bla bla bla.
but still.
he is so cold towards me.
yup.
i really did my best.
i got the tots of giving up.
but i cant.
i really love him so much tat i cant bear to give him up.
im smiling laughing daily.
but who noes deep in my heart im crying so hard?
endless work tasks for me.
i really getting older very fast.
dont stress me le lahh!!